My journey

Part of the journey of documenting what I have been going through was really sitting with myself and connecting some of the pieces that I have been holding since I was a child. I wrote about how I was acutely aware of being different and noticing things other people didn’t as a child. But when I actually took a step back to replay the movie of my life (so far), it was fascinating to start to put together all of the puzzle pieces.

We all have ups and down in our lives, and even some experience dark nights of the soul like I have referenced several times. But I actually started to map out the last couple of decades and looked at everything with a “galactic lens,” rather than as the participant in the journey. Once I did this, I could more easily see how everything was unfolding perfectly.

I initially started this page after getting a “nudge of inspiration” in the spring of 2019. I knew I was supposed to be doing more, I just didn’t know what that was at the time. I began with the April Inspiration Board post, and from there it was like an avalanche of things unfolding. In the summer of 2019, I was receiving information about pyramids, astrological events, the chakra system, and so much more. One of the biggest “ah ha” moments I had was when I started researching energy. As I started researching all of these topics, each unlocked another level within me. Here is a screen shot of a webinar I took in June:

In July, I was summoned to attend a crystal singing bowl class. I remember the date specifically as it happened to be my sisters birthday : 7-17. While driving to work, I passed a sign of a shop that I had driven by for years and never really payed attention to. It just so happened that very day they were offering a crystal singing bowl class and this peaked my interest, having always been fascinated with crystals. I sat with that most of the day and finally before leaving for work decided to email the owner: “I apologize for the late message but I stumbled across your website and noticed you have a crystal singing bowl meditation tonight. Do you have any openings by chance? By then it was nearly 4:40 and the class was in less than two hours, so I was prepared for a “sorry, it’s full response” but instead she replied:

I just had a cancellation, so that's perfect! It begins at 6:30. I have yoga mats, back jacks and some blankets and cushions, but feel free to bring anything for your comfort. Some people choose to lie down and others bring chairs, so anything goes.

See you soon!

This class was absolutely amazing. I started attending monthly and posted about my second session in August of 2019 if you want to re-read it here. From here, I became obsessed with all things that some would consider “out there.” I wanted to learn as much as I could about reiki, shamanic journeying, spiritual work, sacred geometry, astrology….. everything! I ended up taking most of the classes offered at Sea in the Sky and learned a ton about the history of these practices and many of the foundational and fundamental teachings that gave me the framework to build upon. Melanie’s reverence for all of the ancient traditions and teachings instilled a sense of respect within me for the historical importance of many of these traditions. It also unlocked something in me where I allowed myself to finally feel as if I fit in somewhere. Everyone was learning and experiencing things in their own way. Melanie deeply honors her Celtic lineage and works extensively in this area with her guides and the fae. This was not something that I had been exposed to before but I appreciated that everyone “specializes” in something in their own way. My understanding and expertise was more focused around energy and the energy work that I feel called to do. But this was the catalyst for me to really dive in and learn about as much as I could.

I connected with Ra James regarding healing my own DNA damage and ancestral trauma so that I could then work on finding my own home frequency. I did this in concert with Melanie’s shamanic guidance on the importance of tending to myself, energetically and spiritually, before embracing my role as a healer. From an ancestral perspective, she helped me to understand this to be part of my karmic lineage (on my maternal side) of being in the role of a spiritual seer. This understanding and information allowed me to work on some of the internal energetic clearing that I talked about in earlier posts, but it also opened up more doors for me spiritually.

I became obsessed with what else there could be out there beyond what we are shown every day. I began to feel more drawn to these topics than to the what was portrayed in the media, the drama in the world, and the seemingly monotonous nature of life. To me, this felt more in resonance with how our lives were supposed to be instead of the “fake” life we are all walking around in now, simply getting by. It was like I was watching a movie without attachment to any systems or beliefs, just to see how the movie would unfold.

By August, my desire to contribute to the world was getting very strong. I started to learn about collective consciousness and our ability to manifest and create the timeline we want as active participants and co-creators of our realities. I decided to coordinate and host my own peaceful mass meditation event for national Peace Day. It was also during this time that I really started to dive into the power of intuition and learning about how to shift the collective and researching these topics.

In September, I attended an event with Gabby Bernstein for her Super Attractor book launch. This book came into my life at the perfect time when I needed to be guided back to my higher self and my inner light, after shutting it off for many years. From there, I started connecting even more dots.

I began to read the teachings of people that resonated with what I was going through. I have talked about a few of my favorites, but they include: Lorie Ladd, Magenta Pixie, and others. I sort of got this feeling like, ok, you did all the research now put it all together. I was shown that it takes someone who can multi task really well, and who sees connections to things where other people might not notice similarities or missing pieces. I had been walking around with various pieces of the puzzle every day for YEARS, but they were an unorganized mess in the form of a collection of thoughts and journals, dreams, and various other synchronicities. It was was like the pieces of the puzzle were scattered all over the place, some under the bed, some in my car, some in my laundry basket. But I got a sense that I should start picking them up, and then I got the feeling to handle them with more care. I was shown an image of gathering them all up, making a pile, and starting to look at them and put the giant puzzle together.

Accessing some of this forgotten knowledge and unlocking more as I went along, I started to peel back the layers and see more and more. On one particular outing to the church for energy work, I got this download or message of: ‘You did this, you knew that you would remember at the right time and you designed these little nudges along the way to confirm your soul’s knowing.” I laughed a little when I heard “Obviously!”

My love of the beach, the stars, rocks, and my connection to animals from an early age were all connected as confirmation points and remembrances of my higher self or my soul, reconnecting with my now human experience in these little “ah ha!” moments. It was all aligned in perfect Devine timing, so that I could be on the planet and awake for this point in history - to help shift the collective as we elevate to a higher state of consciousness, or to this 5D state that I have mentioned several times. This is all connected to everything that is going on in the world, the messages I have received, seeing things unfold around me, and just holding this knowingness that there is something amazing around the corner. I can feel the collective “fog” lifting and I just know that it is all connected.

I will need to go into this in more detail in another post to do it justice!